The 'Who vs what' problem..

Is someone nagging you with something that's good for you? Oh its your mom! Then she must be ignorant and talking some nonsense.

"Why should we listen to her! The old hen!"

I have experienced it quite a few times - my mom never made sense to me (well atleast most of the time), however right she may have been! But whatever she has said (for my good) was cent percent right! Only I had to realize this when someone else (maybe a great doctor, a journalist, a CEO, an actor and who not!) said the same thing - I needed a certification!

But why is that? Why do I shut down my rational machine when my mom is talking? Am I not able to take something on its face value, wherever that message comes from? I seem to be needing an established name to convince me to believe/do/accept something. 

I think the problem is basically this. We seem to have a fixation on someone - say some XYZ. We believe what that person says is right (no matter what). And when we hear the same thing that our mom/well-wisher says it (who we hardly give an ear to) we then understand them. The problem lies in the fixation - We need to fix ourselves to principles and ideologies. Not people.

It is not only that. As a related example, we Indians have a liking towards foreign stuff- people, places, inventions, lifestyle etc, last but not least, the white complexion! Is that not why we have lost our roots in trying to mimic other cultures? Well, my goal is not to protect cultural values, but I think the two problems are possibly inter-related.

I don't intend to bridge you and your mom (mom was only an example).The idea is that we should have some principles which make us what we are - it can be anything that defines you. And we should stick to those principles, no matter what.

I am trying to change towards that. I started evaluating things, people, based on facts, assimilating them, the logic and rationale behind them - And not based on who said them!

Power of Tamizh language - Interesting!!

Just let's try to deduce the question for an answer that already exists. And let that answer be

"This is my 3rd child"

For any other language, I have not come across a straightforward question to this answer. Say, in English, I can ask,

"How many children do you have? And is this your 2nd or 3rd child?"
(or)
"This is your N-th child, and what is N? (Sounds so mathematical!!!)

It will still be a grammatically correct question, but I have to ask this in a round-about-way. This has a direct question only in Tamizh.
In Tamizh, the question will be

"Unakku Ithu ethanavadhu kuzhandhai?"

(Non-tamizhians, please excuse me, but I just hope you got the context)

Pls send in your comments. Let's evaluate how many languages have a direct question, in this context.

Joy of teaching

I am not talking about only a classroom or a laboratory here. I mean just about any process where you try to present your view points and there are some people out there to consider them for their enlightenment, progress. I have been engaged in different sorts of teaching experiences - classroom, laboratory, at home, etc. I used to teach technical subjects to junior/fellow students; I teach little children at my home about having ambitions & respecting the feelings of others, etc. etc. and most importantly, I teach myself by learning. It is a cycle, it certainly is.

When you are able to teach something to someone, it simply is a pat on your back for having understood something about the world, which you share with someone else. The joy that you experience when you see that glow in the face of the listener, is evidence enough that you have served a purpose in this world. It is teaching that has made the world what it is today. If you do not share what you know with the world, there is no question of Technological advances and breakthroughs.

Not the least, every teaching experience is a new learning experience. No good a teacher you are, if you are not a good listener. (Technical people will understand it if I may say, it is a beautiful negative-feedback system, which is kept unconditionally stable by learning constantly. And the system is YOU!!)

All those teaching and learning experiences have given me a feeling of fulfillment which I have done my best to put in words in this post.

Power of Belief - The driving force.

Have you ever thought about something you didn't get/achieve? Did you know why you didn't?
Simple....It was because, you just didn't want it enough!! Sounds odd? It is just that simple.

Let us see why with a very simple and common example.

Assume there are 2 children, A and B. Child A is a stubborn kid, while B is more submissive, passive. When say the children want an ice-cream, A demands for it, while B just points his finger and makes a very polite request. When the parents refuse, then it finally boils down to how much the children can fight to get their desire fulfilled. Naturally, A will cry his throat out and finally out of pity, the parents give in. A fought and cried, with belief that he will get what he desired - He hardly bothered about anything else.
Now, B on the other hand, does not say anything more. He quietly puts his hand down and sacrifices his desire - for what? That's the interesting part.
The little fellow B is quite fond of the ice-cream as the other child, A. But, what sets the two apart is that, the extent of their desire to get what they want. Why does B accept the parents' final word? It is because, for him, it could have been any of the following:
1. Losing self-respect for an ice-cream,
2. Fear of being chided/spanked,
3. Obedience & Respect for the parents' word.

One of /all the above reasons could be more important to him than his desire. So when listed down in order of priority, there is no doubt that the Ice-cream does not come first for the child B. So is it not a fact that he did not want the ice-cream as much as he wanted to stick to one of the above reasons?

Let's take another case:
A guy has an offer from a reputed company and needs to go out of the country for his job. It may so happen that he may have an ailing mother, who refuses to part with him. For fulfilling her desire, he does the expected!! - Sacrifice the job and stay with the family and goes to the usual run-the-mill kind of job.

Now, he had the choice to leave his family and go and work for his dream job, didn't he? When he ditched that job (probably for his mother) does it not immediately illustrate that he did not want the job as much as he wanted his family?

The above are very standard cases which some of us may have encountered in life (seen in movies as well). The idea was just to make people realize that it is one's destiny was owned by none other than the person oneself! We go around blaming others for our misfortune, while the truth lies in the fact that you didnt pursue it with enough belief/desire - the reason can only be that and nothing else!!

Let us see cases where more of intuition (i.e. where rationale cannot be used) can prove this (I will only state this, it is upto you to experience):

1. In a football match, if the opponents are technically stronger, BELIEVE that you will win - Just BELIEVE - and you'll find out that the opponents will goof up in one way or the other. They may hit the ball just out of your goal post; their best player may get injured; they may hit a self-goal, and all that.

2. Just before an examination, if your preparation is not 100% (which is generally the case) just BELIEVE you are going to get a distinction, and you will. You will find out that only questions that you will be asked are from the chapters you prepared for!! - well thats how i passed all my exams!! :)

3. Let me tell you an interesting case. A girl, a friend of mine, was deeply in love with a guy. This guy, although in love with her, was on the verge of marrying another girl. My friend told me about this - She was in a dilemma whether she should let him go or try to convince him to marry her. My reply was, "If you think you need him, do nothing more but BELIEVE. Just believe he is for you, and he will be yours - You don't need to tell him. Your belief will make it happen"
Well, what she said, I could make out that she was really serious about this relationship, and she badly wanted to be with him. As I told her, she just believed that she ll be with him. AND IT HAPPENED!! It finally happened.
The other girl got married off to another guy, and this pair got re-united. My friend could not just believe that it happened. They have now taken the decision to get married.

Amazing isn't it?

From the above cases, I guess you would now have sensed the power of BELIEF! It is quite simple, but is it easy? No, it is not.

It is not belief in God, nor the belief in another human being that I am talking about. It is belief in what you think is right, and what you need. That belief will make things happen. Believe me, it will.

This so-called belief in this age of Science and computers and miniaturizing, does it find significance? It does. Science is beautiful, and I owe my life to and I am grateful to Science for what I am today, but one has to accept, it has not explained everything. Intuition is one such thing.

For a rationalist, all this may look humbug! But, all this has to be experienced by oneself, to be appreciated. For instance, a rationalist may argue 'why to go unprepared for an exam? rather prepare 100%? So why to worry about which questions will come in the exam?' Agreed. But 100% is never the case. No one is perfect.
The world we live in has very few rationalists. I give a damn who claim to be so. Any of the rationalists will only be rationalists until what i call the 'Breaking point'. When in a life-or-death situation, prayer/hope will only be the way out. Only belief can give that courage.
Nobody goes around doing DNA tests to make sure their parents are surely theirs! They believe so. It is belief again that drives them and keeps them happy. If you be rational in each and everything you do, life is misery.

When confronted by a leopard, neither Newton nor Einstein (or any rationalist for that matter) will scribble equations to prove any theories. Only reaction will be to run for life, at that instant. It is that belief that you ll escape from the claws of fury that makes you run, and run harder.
In cases where a rationale decision cannot be taken, intuition, hope & belief will take its place.

If you need, want, desire something - it can be success,fame,money, anything - you have to BELIEVE it is as invaluable as your life. You will get it. There are no theories to prove this. It is just something for each and everyone to experience.

Experience it for yourself, and have a beautiful life!